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CONTACT US Word from the Head – 14 November 2025
Dear Parents,
After an exciting first few days of this half term, I am glad that a sense of normality has resumed this week. Mrs Hughes is preparing to lead the upcoming GSA Conference and will no doubt come back full of inspiration for how to make our pupils’ school experience even better and more rewarding. In the meantime, it feels timely to reflect on an area of school life that is less visible than exam results or trips, but every bit as important: the way we support our girls in navigating friendship and peer relationships. At Channing, we know that academic success, wellbeing and personal growth are deeply interwoven, and friendships lie at the heart of that.
We often talk about the importance of the pastoral environment, a nurturing and positive space in which every pupil is known, supported and encouraged. Yet for our girls, the social dynamics of friendship groups can be emotionally rich, deeply meaningful and, at times, challenging. Research shows that girls’ friendships carry a significance beyond the purely social; being part of a peer group fulfils a real emotional need but can also sometimes generate feelings of insecurity for many young people.
We see girls experiencing the excitement of new connections, but also shifting friendships which can lead to feelings of being left out. However we might feel about this as adults, we need to remember that children are not always able to apply proportionality or act reasonably. Many of us may recall our parents saying, perhaps with exasperation, “If they jumped out of the window, would you do too?” It was meant supportively, of course, yet the emotional reality is that children might well, metaphorically, jump out of that window if their friends do. Such is the importance they attach to these bonds.
Here at Channing, we are committed to helping our girls through these experiences constructively, with care, and with lasting benefit. One of the foundations of our community is the Channing Promise, which emphasises values such as respect, consideration for others and the creation of a positive and supportive environment. These values underpin the way girls are encouraged to behave towards their peers, noticing others’ feelings, including those who are less settled, and engaging with empathy.
Many of you will also be aware that we began last year to implement the principles of the Girls on Board programme, a structured and evidence-informed framework aimed at helping girls, teachers and parents understand the dynamics of girls’ friendships and the language around them.
Key features of the Girls on Board approach include:
• recognising that most girls fear having no friends, and that this fear drives many behaviours;
• acknowledging that adults can help, but that friendship dynamics are often managed best by the girls themselves with good facilitation rather than by adults intervening heavily;
• giving the girls a friendship vocabulary and scenarios, for example about group sizes or roles such as hopper, messenger or singleton, to reflect upon and discuss;
• promoting empathy, open communication and self-reflection, rather than simply sanctioning or investigating every falling-out. This helps to minimise recurring conflicts and fosters resilience.
In practice, this means that during PSHE and form sessions our girls encounter simplified friend-group games or scenarios, guided discussion of what it means to feel you don’t have a strong group, or what happens when friendships shift. They learn how to reflect on their own behaviour, recognise patterns and think proactively about how to foster inclusion. Our pastoral team and tutors work alongside this programme so that the in-school atmosphere supports the girls’ reflections.
Since its introduction, many of our pupils have commented that the discussions feel helpful. They realise that they are not alone in their worries about fitting in or losing a friendship, and that knowing there is a common language makes things easier. Our tutors report a shift from repeating the same patterns of who said what to whom on social media towards more thoughtful self-reflection during form time.
Of course, friendship dynamics do not stop at the school gate. We encourage parents to use the same language and framework at home, to ask open questions rather than becoming investigators, to monitor social media and phone use, and to allow space for girls to process their feelings rather than dictating solutions. The Girls on Board guidance emphasises that parents should not try to micro-manage. I would recommend to all parents that they read further about the Girls on Board approach on their dedicated parent website, and please consider the following points to try at home:
• Encourage your daughter to talk about her friendships in an open and non-judgmental way, preferably when you are doing something together such as walking, driving or having tea, rather than in a formal sit-down.
• Ask her what friendship groups she is part of, and whether she feels included; not with the aim of solving, but of understanding.
• Resist trying to fix a problem for her unless it clearly falls into a bullying category; instead ask, “What do you think could help?” and support her in implementing that.
• Revisit the values of respect, kindness and fairness which we emphasise at school; remind her of the Channing
Promise and the value of being the one who includes, encourages and notices.
As digital interactions become ever more significant, so too do friendships online. It is easy for adults to view these through the lens of our own experiences, but for many young people, something like breaking a streak is not about technology itself, it is about friendship. A streak signifies to another person that they matter, much as the exchange of mix tapes once did for many of us. While clear boundaries around screen use remain important, it is helpful to remember that what we often call a dependence on technology is, in many cases, a dependence on friendship within a different environment.
I appreciate that bullying is something all parents worry about. We are fortunate that at Channing we operate in an environment where bullying is exceedingly rare indeed. More importantly though, I firmly believe that proactive interventions such as the Girls on Board approach prevent many problems from escalating. Please rest assured that where other approaches are necessary to intervene, we have and will do so. Please never hesitate to contact us if you are concerned at all.
Friendships are both joyful and testing. They form the emotional backdrop to a girl’s school experience, bringing belonging, laughter, shared challenges and, at times, disappointment or change. At Channing, we are determined to ensure that our girls have the insight, resilience and support to move through these years with confidence, strength and a sense of agency. The introduction of the Girls on Board framework is one important strand of this work. It does not eliminate conflict entirely, but it equips our girls and our community to handle it constructively, to emerge stronger, and to grow in understanding.
Next week is Sustainability Week and on Monday in particular we are asking students and staff to try and come to school without using the car. Air pollution is a serious problem in London claiming the lives of about 4,000 people in 2019, according to Imperial College London. We are also asking students to bring in preloved clothes and Christmas jumpers for our preloved clothes sale next Friday, so why not have a pre-Christmas clear out?
Finally, huge congratulations to everyone involved in last night’s Autumn Concert. It was a fabulous programme beautifully performed by our talented musicians. The extraordinary virtuosity of Year 13s Elizabeth, playing Vivaldi’s Winter on violin, and Kezia playing Ennio Morricone’s Gabriel’s Oboe from The Mission soundtrack on saxophone, were a privilege to hear. Our singers, musicians and supporting music staff were superb. Many thanks indeed to Mr Boxall, Mr Kokkinos, Miss Bacon, Mr Dodds, Mrs Dodds and Ms Clifton-Everest for all their hard work in preparing and leading the girls. It was an absolute treat!
With warmest wishes
Freddie Meier
Senior Deputy
