Word from the Head – 20 June 2025

Dear Parents,

Ah, the joy of Enrichment Week! After the excitement of Sports Day on Monday, school feels very strange as whole year groups disappear – Year 9 on DofE and Year 8 to France and Spain – and the remaining students are in and out as they make the most of having London on their doorstep, or venture a little further afield. Trips to the Crystal Maze experience, Mountfitchet Castle, the National Space Centre or the Supreme Court, anyone? Full write ups will come in next week’s edition, but for now my enormous thanks to Mrs Bhamra-Burgess and all the staff who put in such hard work to organise and accompany this extraordinary range of activities.

Sadly I missed Sports Day on Monday as I was at the GSA’s annual Summer Briefing. This is always a great day – a chance to connect with colleagues and reflect on a busy year, whilst getting the latest updates from experts in our field and being inspired by speakers to think about what we might do next in our schools. This year’s event was particularly special for me, as it marked the start of my year as President of the Girls’ Schools Association. The current President, Alex Hutchinson of James Allen’s Girls School (JAGS) in South London, presented me with my GSA brooch. Indeed, my first official engagement in the role starts on Saturday, when I fly to Philadelphia to represent the GSA at the annual conference of the International Coalition of Girls Schools. I look forward to telling you all about it in next week’s Word from the Head.

An important update was from Julie Robinson, Chief Executive of the Independent Schools Council (ISC). You will undoubtedly have seen in the media that the judgement in the ISC case against the imposition of VAT on independent school fees was handed down on Friday last week. As Julie reported to us on Monday, there was certainly plenty of sympathy for the cause from the judges involved, who noted that the ‘freedom to establish and access independent education is protected under international law’ and that the decision to impose VAT did indeed interfere with human rights. They also pointed out that the provision of education without VAT was not a tax break, contrary to the Government’s preferred language in all of their communications. The judges made clear that the Government had been warned about the timing and effect of the policy, and had proceeded anyway, and even noted that some groups have been particularly adversely affected by that decision. While the practical outcome is that we lost the case, and the ISC has made the decision not to pursue an appeal, I am proud that as members of the GSA, HMC and IAPS we supported the ISC case, standing up for your rights to choose an independent education for your children.

I particularly want to share with you the most inspiring talk of the day, which came from Chloe Combi, founder of The Respect Project. She gave an illuminating address about what today’s girls are really facing. It made for uncomfortable listening at times, but also provided some uplifting encouragement for the things we – schools and parents – can be doing together to support our teenage girls as they navigate the world.

In a fast-changing world, young women are bombarded with conflicting messages about who they should be. From pop stars and TikTok influencers to OnlyFans creators and “trad wives” promoting perfect homes and families, the pressure to choose between extremes is overwhelming. Chloe challenged us to name the five women on this slide, all of whom will probably be instantly recognisable to your teen daughter: only one person in the room full of school leaders managed more than two! How will you do? Answers at the end.

The online world offers an increasingly binary choice of womanhood. Chloe’s The Respect Project highlights this cultural tug-of-war and how it shapes the self-worth, confidence, and future plans of today’s girls. They are navigating a world where beauty standards are unrealistic (and often AI-generated), and where anxiety, imposter syndrome and mental health concerns are increasingly common – although often deliberately manufactured by the commoditisation of girls’ insecurities by companies and influencers. Trends such as ‘Get Ready With Me’ on TikTok have fuelled the use of adult skin products by teen and pre-teen girls. The Drunk Elephant morning and night regimes (costing £99 each), which have been aggressively marketed to teens, are the hot item right now – and are utterly unnecessary.

She also highlighted the impact of shows like The Kardashians and Love Island, which have not only shifted beauty standards but made them monolithic. The ubiquitous ‘Insta Face’ of cat’s eyes, full lips and flawless skin feeds into a loss of individual, natural, quirky beauty and the algorithm feeds girls more and more of the products they don’t need to create the new faces which look like everyone else’s. Horrifyingly, Chloe has calculated that a lifetime of lip fillers, started at the age of 18, would cost over £60,000 at current prices – there is a physical, emotional and financial cost to this. However we also know that more than 5000 cosmetic procedures were carried out on under 18s last year: they’re doing it anyway.

As a result Chloe has joined forces with Cult Beauty to create a teen guide to what their faces really need in these important years. Spoiler alert – it’s definitely not retinol, which can damage their young skin permanently. Do have a look at the Gen A-Z Skin School guide – I’m hoping to get hard copies of this to distribute to all students in the Senior School.

At the same time, worrying voices from the “Manosphere” – online spaces that promote harmful ideas about women – are growing louder, affecting how boys and young men view relationships and respect. This culture has real-world consequences, contributing to fear, mistrust, and even violence in a space where ‘good girls you marry, bad girls you sleep with”. Sadly a recent survey of 3,000 11–16 year-olds found that:

• Fewer than half of girls call themselves feminists
• Many see feminism as “anti-boy”
• A large number of young men believe women’s rights “have gone too far”

Add to this the uncertainty around their futures – whether university is still worth it, and what careers will look like in an AI-driven future – and it’s no surprise that many girls feel anxious and unsure of their place in the world.

But there is hope! Chloe outlined a number of solutions:

Be entrepreneurial: Encourage girls and young women to rewrite their own representation. Start businesses, make podcasts, write books, create fashion, become an activist: promote the real needs of girls and young women.

• Knowledge is power: Value learning, reading and asking questions. Don’t rely on TikTok for your facts – read actual books and newspaper or journal articles to understand the full context and arguments on any topic.
• Reject impostor syndrome: it’s not a standard requirement of every successful woman that she should secretly doubt herself. Make your space and own it.
• Beware against mental health self-diagnosis: get a medical diagnosis if there really is something wrong – and don’t let it define you.
• Out the beauty influencers: Understand that social media images rarely reflect reality; comment actively on the cosmetic surgery and filters that influencers and creators have used in making their posts.

And of course there are things that you, and we, can also do. Keep talking about these pressures openly at home and at school, encouraging daughters (and sons) to think critically about online content. In addition we must promote reading, real learning and confidence over likes and followers, although as we know from Mr Meier’s Word from the (Deputy) Head last week, these statistics and streaks have enormous value to our childrens’ self-esteem.

Above all, we must not contribute to their own fear mongering. We can remind them that the future is scary – it always has been, and no teens, at any time, have been able to predict with certainty what the world would look like for them in 10 years’ time. We can reinforce that their voice and choices matter and that with our support, at school and at home, they are well-placed to make the most of them. I’m already in touch with Chloe to see when we can get her into school to speak to staff and students next year – I have no doubt she will have the same impact on them as she did on us on Monday.

I hope that your children will end this week tired, happy and having had their lives truly enriched by a range of new experiences. Enjoy the weekend, and I look forward to seeing you all a week tomorrow at Founders’ Day.

With best wishes for the weekend,

Mrs Lindsey Hughes
Headmistress

Answers:

Clockwise from bottom left

• Charli XCX (pop star)
• Sabrina Carpenter (also pop star – these were the two that most Heads could name!)
• Lily Phillips (OnlyFans creator who made a documentary about sleeping with 100 men in 24 hours)
• Charlie Demilo (TikTok dancer with 1 billion followers)
• Ballerina Farm (trad wife)