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APPLY NOWWord from the Head – 2 October 2026
Dear Parents,
At the time of writing this, Mrs Hughes is in Manchester at the HMC conference, an annual gathering of the Heads of some of the biggest independent schools in the country. I am sure she will come back with plenty of inspiration. In the meantime, it falls to me to put together this week’s Word from the Head. Unsurprisingly, I would like to take the opportunity to talk about two pastoral topics which are relevant.
First of all, many of your daughters will be talking about friendships in school at the moment. Partly that’s because a new academic year is invariably a time to reconfirm existing friendships as well as form new ones. They are also talking about them explicitly in their PSHE lessons. Many of you will know that we follow the Girls on Board principles which highlight the importance of friendships, especially for girls.
Let me ask you a question we discuss with the girls in the class: How many friends is an ideal sized group? A fairly innocuous question, until you start talking with the girls. Here is a snippet of how these discussions go:
The founder of the principles behind Girls on Board, Andrew Hampton (a former Head of a school in Essex), argues that every girl needs at least one good friend. This is the foundation of her wellbeing in school. One friend is plenty for many but what if that friend is not in school?
Two friends, then – surely this is the right answer? A group of three must be ideal. Apart from the fact that three don’t fit into a bus row when you go on a trip. Who will sit alone?
Four, the exasperated adult will now suggest. Sure. That works on the bus – but four is too large to walk next to each other in a corridor.
Five in a group breaks down into a 2 and a 3, with obvious problems as described above.
Ready to give up yet?
The problem about friendships is fundamentally that we adults struggle to understand all the facets of them. We have all been there, but we have forgotten some of how it really feels for children and allow logic to dictate our actions instead. Hence, it is nigh impossible for us to fully take on board the issues the girls are talking about in all of their intricacies and complexities.
I suspect some of you might recognise this from conversations at home that feel like you need a PhD to understand why girl A is upset with girl B. Parents might find this Wednesday Wisdom useful as well, which is all about friendships. If you have not come across the Wednesday Wisdom emails yet, they are published by Dr Kathy Weston of Tooled Up, an excellent organisation which publishes advice for schools and parents on a range of interesting topics. Importantly for us, it is steeped in research and based on the work of leading lights in the various fields. I highly recommend you have a look at their work. By virtue of being a Channing parent, you have free access, and please click on this link to access this.
Back to the friendship dilemma: the one aspect everyone agrees on is that adult intervention can sometimes make the situation worse. To be clear, there comes a time when adults need to step in to make decisions and take action on the girls’ behalf. However, empowering girls early on is key, which is why we use Girls on Board to explicitly teach them the vocabulary and strategies to understand friendship dynamics and negotiate these issues independently. Of course, this is not always a straightforward process, but our experience shows that girls who are equipped to actively manage their friendship challenges are far less likely to fall out, leading to less ‘drama’ in school and more focused learning in the classroom. So next time your daughter comes home and you struggle to find the common thread in a story about her peers, don’t hesitate to ask: Have you thought about your Girls on Board lessons? What might be the right approach to resolve this?
As we support the girls through these everyday friendship dynamics, it is around this time of the year that I send an annual safety reminder to all parents. With evenings getting darker and days shorter, it is important that we all consider what this means for our way to and from school. Sadly, last week’s tragic events in Highgate have highlighted just how important this really is, especially in busy traffic. I would be grateful if you could please talk with your daughter about these simple but effective rules. Please rest assured we do the same in school:
- Do not be distracted by your phone. Don’t wear headphones which will limit your senses.
- Stay in well-lit areas and avoid dark paths such as Waterlow Park after nightfall. A longer way might be much safer.
- If you are worried, consider approaching a person in authority such as a police officer or step into a shop to make a phone call.
- If you are taking a bike, always wear a helmet.
- If someone demands an item such as a phone or money, give it to them and run in the opposite direction – don’t try to resist.
These are some basic rules that have a huge impact. It is a sad reality of life that girls and women are far more likely to be the victims of crime or harassment and while we all wish that this was not the case, talking openly is extremely important.
I hope your daughters have enjoyed our Languages and Heritage Week. I am often struck by the diversity of our school. During assembly on Tuesday, I asked the school to put up their hand if they speak a second language at home alongside English. The response was huge and quite humbling. It is this diversity that makes London, and Channing particularly, special. Learning from each other allows us to broaden our horizons and to see the world in a different light. If this is not a key skill we will need in the age of AI, then I don’t know what is. My thanks to the Inclusion Officers, Ms Mackie, and the whole MFL department for all the activities, creativity, and joy.
Finally, we are very excited that the BBC Young Musician Competition is on air from Sunday 4 October on BBC4. This weekend is the first set of quarter-finals, airing at 7.30pm – and we are waiting with bated breath for the second set of quarter-finals on Sunday 11 October when our very own 2026 leaver, Kezia Colton, will be showcasing her remarkable skills on the saxophone. If you can set a reminder for the full series, I would highly recommend doing so: the semi-final and final will be broadcast on BBC2 in half term!
Best wishes
Mr Freddie Meier
Senior Deputy Head
